Worries and Weight

Well, I am not sure if this post belongs here or on one of my other blogs. I have not been to the gym since last Thursday to work out. I have been eating too much but not enough to cause a gain. If I lose one pound this week it will be a miracle. The reason that I am struggling (besides being wickedly over scheduled) is that I am stressed out. Joshua has been slurring his speech. I thought it was a hearing problem but we took him to the speech pathologist at MD Anderson and she thinks it is a brain problem. Radiation damage (we are 2 years out from radiation so I do not get that) or new tumor. We are not worried but of course I am. I did some more research and found out it could also very likely be a stroke. I can't believe I am hoping to hear stroke. People do not understand that we are never going to be free of this horrible monster. I guess I can't change what is. We have an MRI tomorrow and Friday and then we will hear those results. We may also have an MRA to see the status of the blood vessels in his brain if we do not see anything on the MRI. I really want to get to the gym, I enjoy it so much but don't know when I will. I am just hoping that tomorrow goes well and then I will regroup and try again. I also need to get more sleep but that is the first thing to go when I am upset like this. I will keep trying, I refuse to give up. I keep thinking that it will make a difference to the kids if they see that I do not give up. Tomorrow is another day.