Count Down

I am getting nervous. I have actually been feeling sick and I think it is just nerves. I have been heavy for so long that part of me can't see myself any other way and I don't want to fail. What if it doesn't work? I keep thinking that something is going to happen to stop this. I found out yesterday that Joshua now has a big test at MD Anderson on Monday. (that is my son with cancer, he is 10) I called my husband, Gordon, and he is taking him and then I will come and finish it so Gordon can get to work. It means that I can't do a full work out on Monday but at least I can meet with my new trainer and do something. I really want this to work out (no pun intended) I want to be different. Then I worry, you know how they say that even after people lose weight they do not see themselves differently? What if I lose it and it doesn't make a difference? Can you see why I am nervous? I guess I just have to try, that is why I told everyone what I am doing - now I can't back out, there is no where to go but forward! 2 days till D-day --- Wish me luck!!!!!!